that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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