whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
