btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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