U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
