ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
