He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
