wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
