haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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