is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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