My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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