You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
