I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
