Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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