saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
