yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
