You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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