you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
