I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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