I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
