you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
