It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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