i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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