cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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