This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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