My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pappa wants mamma naked
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
