Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
