This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
