i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
