Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
