Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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