So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
