I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
