Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize