did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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