The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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