I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize