How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
