She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
