I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
