I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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