I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
either way he was missing a nipple.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize