Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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