why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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