But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
