If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he fucked my hip out of place.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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