okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize