Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
