I just saw a hot homeless man
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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