Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
