This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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