people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
