she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
