Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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