Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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