I could make wine with my vomit
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
