At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
