I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
