If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
