In America we eat man semen.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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