apparently the secret to your success is patron
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
