he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
