Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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